Unraveling
by DraconisMuse
Summary: Someone from Rogue's past appears, bringing back memories she never wanted to remember.
1. Chapter 1

Disclaimer: I absolutely do not own X-Men.

A/N: So, I finally decided to give writing in this fandom a try. This fic was floating around in my head awhile until I finally decided to just write it. It's inspired in part by the 90's X-Men animated series, in which it was hinted that Rogue was abused. I always thought that would make sense for this version of Rogue as well. It's finished (as is its sequel), so all I have to do is edit and post. Anyway, on with the show! I'll be posting this prologue (which actually takes place mid-story and will be the only chapter written in first person POV) as well as the first real chapter tonight.

* * *

 **Prologue** :

Mystique's gone too far this time.

How could she?

Really...How _could_ she?

'It wasn't enough to raise me as a weapon,' I think to myself. My fists clenched tightly at my sides as a strange mix of rage and panic fight for dominance. 'Or to betray my trust repeatedly. Now she's dug up my past.'

 _My_ past.

Not our past, not anything even related to my powers, just my dark, very personal, past that I'd wanted to keep in the past.

And there's Kurt looking confused and maybe a little hurt. Jean, watching me and judging me for something she doesn't even understand. Miss Perfect couldn't understand this. How could she understand a dysfunctional family who hate each other when hers is so nice and orderly and... _perfect_.

The professor is watching like it's all some kind of science experiment, but I think maybe he's starting to suspect something is wrong. Logan though...Logan already knows. Half the time I think he's the only one who will ever understand me at all.

After this they all might just understand more than I ever wanted them to.

Because, of course, they _all_ had to be here.

"How much?" I manage to force out. I only vaguely notice my fingernails digging into the palms of my hands through my gloves. Each word is cold, crisp, and filled with a barely contained anger. "How much is Mystique paying you for this?"

She had to be paying him something. He wouldn't bother to be here if there wasn't something in it for him.

His eyes narrow and the corner of his lips turn upwards into a little scowl. It's an expression that's haunted my dreams for as long as I can remember.

 _'He can't touch me'_ , I remind myself. It becomes a chant that echoes in my head. _'He can't touch me. I'm untouchable_.'


	2. Chapter 2

Disclaimer: Nope, still don't own the X-Men.

A/N: Hope you're enjoying it so far! Let me know what you think.

* * *

Rogue groaned as ridiculously high pitched music suddenly filled the room. She turned over and pulled the pillow over her head hoping to block out Kitty's newest alarm. It was bad enough she had to listen to her roommate's music during the day, but it was way too early for it now.

"Turn it off!" she half-screamed, half-groaned into the mattress as she held the pillow tighter around her head.

"Geez, like, take it easy, Rogue," came her roommate's half-asleep reply.

Fortunately the horrible, ear shattering music finally stopped. Rogue nearly sighed in relief.

At least until Kitty ripped the blanket off her.

"Pryde!" Rogue shot up and glared. A couple of years ago, when she first arrived in Bayville, her current expression would have been enough to at least make Kitty flinch and reconsider her next move very carefully. Now, however, all she got in return was an overly dramatic eye roll.

"Hurry up, Rogue. We have a test today. Remember?" Kitty waltzed over to the closet and began riffling through her clothes.

 _'Yeah, waltzed_ ,' Rogue thought to herself. That's the only term she could ever possibly use for it. Why did the girl have so many clothes anyway, she asked herself while considering if she could get away with going back to sleep while Kitty was still around.

"I remember," she muttered, swinging her legs over the side of the bed. If she didn't get up now then Scott or Jean would probably just come banging on her door later. "You reminded me like ten times last night."

"I did not!" Kitty bristled, her hands going to her hips as she turned to glare back at Rogue.

Kitty's glare wasn't nearly as impressive as hers, but it was getting better. A little more practice and she might actually be able to scare a fly, Rogue figured.

"And even if I did..." Kitty continued while Rogue grabbed one of the few outfits she owned. "It's a big test! It's important."

"Every test is important to you, Kitty." She tugged her gloves on a little more, just to make sure they were on well enough, before opening the bedroom door. "I'm getting a shower."

"Ok. I'll...Hey, wait!" Kitty started to run after her. "It's my turn to take a shower first! Rogue!" The yell of indignation turned into one of surprise when, unable to stop in time, Kitty ran through her. Straight through her. And then promptly stumbled to the floor. "Ouch."

Rogue smirked and stepped around her friend. "You can take a shower first tomorrow," she said, her hand already nearing the bathroom doorknob.

"Tomorrow's Saturday! It doesn't count!"

"Monday then."

"Yeah right."

Rogue closed the door behind her with a snap, leaving an annoyed Kitty to stand outside tapping a foot expectantly.

* * *

Even though she'd taken a shower first and gotten dressed before Kitty, somehow the other girl still managed to catch up with her on the way downstairs. And, of course, the talking began soon after. Rogue tried to tune most of it out, since she was pretty sure Kitty wasn't actually talking _to_ her, but rarely did it work.

It was the same thing the morning before any test Kitty had. She had to let off that nervous energy somehow, but unlike Rogue, Kitty did that through babbling on about different test scenarios and eventually getting into the latest gossip on whichever teacher was giving the test. She'd once had to listen to an hour long rant about how 'totally evil' Kitty's history teacher was because he refused to give her extra credit on a test.

"Like, he's totally out to get me..."

"Yeah. Totally," Rogue muttered sarcastically. Kitty didn't notice.

As they passed the Professor's office, Rogue noticed the door was slightly ajar and she could just make out his voice. She couldn't really hear what he was saying, but she recognized the 'I'm not happy, but I won't outright yell at you' tone of voice. She didn't give it much attention, figuring it was probably just him reprimanding one of the younger students for something stupid they'd done.

After grabbing an apple, Rogue attempted to escape out the door before Kitty could follow, but just as she was about to leave the Professor's voice filled her head.

' _I would like you to come to my office right after school, Rogue_ ,' he telepathically requested in a way that was definitely not request.

' _Sure, Professor,_ ' she replied mentally. The other voices in her head grew louder for a moment, obviously not liking an outsider in there with them, but fortunately they quickly settled down.

"Hey, Rogue…like….wait up!"

Rogue pinched the bridge of her nose and nearly groaned aloud. She'd almost escaped the test-obsessed-teen. Almost, but not quite.

* * *

"She's getting desperate," Logan stated, though it came out sounding more like a growl than actual words. "Think Rogue's in danger, Chuck?"

The Professor sighed and turned his wheelchair away from the window. "I'm not sure, Logan. This is certainly a...new tactic. One I had not planned on Mystique taking."

"Hey, Professor..." Scott suddenly appeared in the door, but stopped abruptly upon seeing the expressions on the two men's faces. "Oh, uh, sorry. I didn't mean to interrupt."

"It's alright, Scott," Charles told him. "What were you going to ask?"

"I was just wondering if you'd seen Kitty. I promised to drive everyone to school today."

"I believe Kitty has already left. She seemed to be in a hurry."

Logan scoffed. "Must be a test day."

Scott chuckled and nodded. "Yeah, it is. Thanks, Professor."

"Summers," Logan said before he could turn to leave completely.

"Yeah?"

Logan shared a quick look with Charles, silently conveying a message that didn't even require telepathy. Scott took notice and frowned with a mix of concern and curiosity. "Do me a favor," Logan finally continued. "Keep an eye on...things," he added, changing 'Rogue' to 'things' at the last minute. If Rogue ever found out he'd ask Scott to keep an eye on her specifically, he would never hear the end of it.

"Things?" Scott asked in confusion.

"Yeah, Summers, things. Think you can handle that?"

Scott bristled, one hand clenching at his side. "Yeah, I can handle it, Logan. Want to tell me why you want me to keep an eye on...things?"

"Not really."

"Why not?"

"You don't need to know yet."

"This isn't another Mystique pretending to be our principle type thing is it?" Scott asked, looking over at the Professor.

"No, Scott. I promised to tell you if something like that happened again," the Professor said gently. "We would just like everyone to be on guard until we figure out, exactly, what is going on. I would appreciate it if you would ask Jean to do the same, but please do not alarm the other students. It may be nothing."

"Yeah, sure, Professor," Scott answered, his irritation disappearing to be replaced by concern. "But you'll tell us if..."

"Yes, Scott. You have my word."

Scott nodded, glanced between the two older men, and then turned to leave.

Once he was gone, Logan rubbed a hand over his face. "Should've just kept Stripes home today," he muttered to himself. He'd drive by the school later to check things out. Just to make sure everything was alright, but he still had an uneasy feeling in the pit of his stomach.

"Indeed."

Charles sounded more amused than if he was actually agreeing, and Logan shot him a glare for good measure. If he heard one more insinuation about how he treated Rogue differently...

"Don't start, Chuck."

"I did not say a word, Logan."

In a way, that was even worse. He was _not_ a father-figure to the kids at the Institute, not even Rogue. A mentor maybe, but he'd admit to nothing else. Just because he understood Rogue more than he understood the others, or than the others understood Rogue, didn't mean he was about to win some 'father of the year' award. He watched out for her that's all. Just like he watched out for the rest of them. Someone had to do it.

The knowing, and amused, half-smile on Charles' face didn't lessen at his glare though, so Logan growled something unintelligible under his breath before stalking out of the room.


	3. Chapter 3

Disclaimer: Nope, I still don't own X-Men. If only.

A/N: Mystique's up to something...

* * *

"Seriously, how were we supposed to know the answer to something that wasn't even in the book!" Kitty exclaimed.

Rogue glanced over at her friend sitting on the other side of Kurt in the back of Jean's SUV and rolled her eyes. Kitty was pouting. There was no other word for it. She was pouting with her arms crossed and a look of impending destruction. If Mr. Nelson was in the car at the moment, Rogue was pretty sure Kitty would be throwing things at him.

"It vas just once question, Kitty. I'm sure you did fine on the rest of the test," Kurt said in an effort to calm her down.

In the front seat Jean tried, and failed, to cover a laugh. Fortunately, Kitty didn't notice. And honestly, Rogue wasn't sure what right Jean had to laugh. She was just as bad when it came to tests half the time. Next to her Scott didn't seem to react at all. Which was strange. If Jean laughed or smiled, lover-boy was usually the first to smile in response. Scott only looked oddly tense though, and lost in his own thoughts. Jean seemed to notice as well, but other than a quick look and a sudden somberness, she didn't react any further.

If the two of them were having some sort of fight, Rogue didn't want anything to do with it. Why they had insisted on driving her, Kurt, and Kitty back to the Institute she didn't know. Maybe they just wanted a buffer. That was probably what it was, she figured. After all, rarely did anyone want her around unless they wanted something from her. That seemed to be what her life's purpose was. To be used.

A buffer, a distraction, a sounding board to rant at, a soldier, a weapon, a way to resurrect a powerful mutant who needed her collection of life-forces…

If it wasn't one thing, it was another.

Which once again brought her thoughts back to the Professor and his request for her to see him after school. It wasn't often he made such a request. They're sessions, when he tried to help her figure out how to control her powers or to get the personalities in her head to quiet down, had diminished more and more lately since more students had arrived. So, most of the time, when he asked to see her it wasn't for anything good.

She hadn't gotten into trouble at school for a while. She hadn't thrown Kitty's alarm clock out the window...yet. She hadn't even terrified any of the younger students in months. So then what could he want?

And why was there a hand waving in front of her face?

Rogue blinked and pushed the hand away. "What?" she snapped.

Kurt held up both hands in surrender. "You vere a hundred miles away there, schwester. We're here," he added, smiling broadly before sliding out of the van after Kitty, who it seemed was still fuming.

Rogue looked out the window and, sure enough, they were back at the Institute. Which meant it was time to see Professor Xavier. With a sigh she slid out of the car and slowly followed after the others. No one seemed to notice she was lagging behind. Or perhaps just didn't care.

Her brows creased in confusion when she spotted Jean and Scott up ahead. They were talking quietly to each other, completely focused only on the other, but didn't seem to be mad. Maybe they weren't fighting after all. Too bad, Rogue thought as she passed them to enter the house. It might have been entertaining.

"Vhere are you going, Rogue?" Kurt asked as she passed him and Kitty.

"The Professor wants to see me."

"Why?" Jean asked as she and Scott entered the house as well.

Rogue shrugged and forced herself not to reply with a cutting remark telling Jean to mind her own business. "Don't know," she answered simply instead.

She spotted Kitty and Kurt continuing on their way, but she felt two other pairs of eyes watching her walk to the Professor's office. Once she reached the office, she raised her hand to knock, but before her fist could touch the wooden door it opened to reveal Logan standing there. He stepped back, a silent invitation to enter, and she did so.

"Professor? What's going on?" she asked upon seeing Storm in the room as well. "Should the others be here too?" It seemed odd that they'd want to speak with her alone.

"No, Rogue. I don't think that will be necessary quite yet," the Professor answered in his usual gentle tone.

The door closed behind her, and she could sense Logan stepping further inside as well. "So, what did you want to see me about?"

"It's about Mystique I'm afraid."

 _'I don't want to know. I don't want to know. I don't want to know_ ,' Rogue thought over and over.

Aloud, however, she said, "What about her?"

The Professor wheeled closer to her, his eyes staying utterly focused on her. It was the look that always made her skin crawl, just because she _knew_ he could tell what she was thinking with or without the use of his powers. "As you know, she is technically your adopted mother."

Rogue crossed her arms and looked away. "Yeah, figured that one out."

"She adopted you officially, through the correct channels, so as to have the documentation."

She wasn't sure what this was about, but what she did know was that she didn't like how the conversation was going. Something in the pit of her stomach said this wasn't going to be good, and a voice in her head...she wasn't sure which one...whispered something about things about to go very, very badly. Out of the corner of her eye she saw Logan staring out the window. He didn't look happy. Storm on the other hand was watching her almost as closely as the Professor.

"Ok. So?" Rogue asked, her voice came out hard and uncaring, but inside a storm was beginning to form around her heart.

The Professor sighed and looked down. "She called me this morning. She informed me that, if I do not release you into her custody, she will take official action to have you removed from the Institute."

"Wh-what?" This couldn't be happening. It couldn't. Mystique had never shown any kind of interest in going down this path before. "She can't do that though! Right?"

"As your adopted mother, she has that right," Storm informed her with a touch of sadness in her voice that Rogue wasn't sure if she imagined or not. Maybe it was just wishful thinking.

"But..." Rogue's hands clenched into fists at her side. "She only wanted me to use as a weapon. She even left me with Irene. She's _not_ my mother."

"No one's saying she is, Stripes," Logan told her, sounding calmer than he actually looked. "And we're not letting you go anywhere with her." With that he shot the Professor a look as if daring him to challenge that promise.

"But the fact remains that she is your legal guardian," the Professor continued, ignoring Logan. "I highly doubt that Raven will actually take such measures," he added. "It would draw too much attention to herself, and whatever she currently has planned."

"You...think it's a bluff?" Rogue asked. She couldn't help the hint of hope lacing the words.

"I believe so, yes. Were she seriously considering taking legal action, I do not believe she would warn us first." The Professor paused thoughtfully for a moment, as if still working the puzzle through himself. "She realizes by now that you will never join her willingly, and abducting you forcibly may be too much of a risk."

She heard what he was saying, and could understand the logic of it. Or at least as much logic as she could normally associate with Mystique, which wasn't much. The fear she always tried so hard to push away was creeping in though. She'd finally found somewhere that felt like home. Somewhere...safe. With people who didn't usually want to use, abuse, or lie to her on a daily basis. She didn't want to lose it all. Especially if it meant she'd wind up with Mystique.

She crossed her arms again, and refused to make eye contact. She didn't want any of them to see her so vulnerable. If they did, if one day they realized how pathetic she really was, maybe they'd just hand her over to Mystique without complaint. Maybe they wouldn't want her around anymore. She could take care of herself, she knew that, but after having the closest thing to a real family she'd ever had...she just didn't want to lose it. Not now.

"But this isn't going to work, right?" she asked, still refusing to look the Professor in the eyes. There was no point making it any easier for him to read her mind.

A hand on her shoulder caused her to look up though. It was Logan. He squeezed her shoulder reassuringly, and somehow that always comforted her more than anything he ever actually said. "We're not letting go without a fight, kid. You're stuck with us."

She nodded, unable to voice any of the things currently swirling around her head.

"If Mystique pushes this matter further than we will deal with it," The professor told her. "I think for now it would best to simply continue on as normal. Though I also ask that you stay alert, Rogue. We do not know why Mystique chose now to attempt to get you back. She may have something more sinister planned."

"We would just like you to be careful until we know for sure, Rogue," Storm added.

The Professor nodded. "And you may, of course, tell the others of this situation if you wish. We may need to inform them eventually anyway."

"Yeah. Sure." She had no real intention of telling the others anything. At least not today. She needed to figure things out for herself first. She had no doubt one of them would pry it out of her eventually. Most of the people at the Institute didn't know how to mind their own business.

"That's all for now, Rogue. You no doubt have homework you wish to complete before the weekend."

Rogue nodded, once again unsure what to say. She turned to leave, but just before stepping out of the office she looked back over her shoulder. All three of them were watching her. For whatever reason, it made her a little sick to her stomach. She escaped quickly and made her way upstairs. She didn't miss Scott and Jean standing nearby, or miss how they started having another hushed conversation once they spotted her, but she didn't have the time or energy to care. There were too many other things for her to think about.

* * *

"Hey, Rogue, vant to watch a movie?"

Rogue sighed and closed her book with more force than was necessary, resulting in a satisfying snap that filled the library. "I'm fine, Kurt."

"Vhat?"

None of them, Kurt included, were very good at being subtle when checking up on her. And the amount everyone seemed to be checking on her was increasing to annoying proportions. No one, except for the Professor, seemed to really want to broach the subject outright. She had a feeling they were afraid she'd have some sort of breakdown.

The first few days there had been questions, but now everyone was just acting...nice. Too nice. Annoyingly nice because it was obviously fake. Even some of the younger students, who didn't even know what was going on, seemed to walk on eggshells around her.

She didn't need them reminding her of the situation by trying not to remind her.

"I'm fine," she said, her southern accent came out even stronger as she stressed the words.

Surprisingly, Kurt didn't try to deny what his real intent was this time. He deflated, the forced smile disappearing, and slid onto the window seat across from her. She moved her feet out of habit of not wanting anyone to touch her. Even though she was wearing boots, she didn't want to take any chances.

"Ve're worried about you, schwester."

"You don't need to be."

"We won't let Mystique take you away."

"I know, Kurt." That's what they all wanted to hear. That she was confident and unafraid of the future. The truth wasn't anywhere near as straight forward. The whole situation was reminding her that, without the Institute, she really didn't have anywhere else to go. Going back to Mystique just wasn't an option. She'd done more thinking the last week than she'd done in a couple years.

"You're family, Rogue. Blood or papers don't mean anything. We love you."

Rogue winced. It was automatic and happened before she could stop it. She hoped Kurt hadn't noticed, but she wasn't going to look at him to find out. She stood up and kept her eyes downcast. "Yeah, sure. Whatever."

She escaped before he could say anything else.


	4. Chapter 4

Disclaimer: I obviously don't own it.

A/N: This is a bit of a short chapter, but the next one will be longer. I hope you guys are liking it so far. As always, thanks for taking the time to read! Let me know what you think.

* * *

A week of unease turned into a month, and a month into two months without any further sign of Mystique. Logan told her that she'd called only three more times, each time angrier than the last. He wouldn't tell her exactly what was said, but she got the feeling either he or the Professor had finally ripped into her adopted mother over the phone since the woman hadn't called since. It had probably been Logan. When she voiced that thought to him, he only smirked though. Which was an answer in itself.

After three months the calls had stopped, and there'd been no sign of any legal actions. A cop had walked up to her one day after school, a few weeks after the first call, and she had been sure that she would have to run for it. He'd only wanted to ask if she'd seen someone in a picture who'd defaced the library though. It had looked suspiciously like Toad, but she'd only shrugged, mumbled a no, and walked off. No police had shown up on the Institute steps, no one from Child Services had come for her, and no lawyers had been in contact. It seemed like the Professor had been right about it just being a bluff.

After four months, Rogue finally started to shake the unease, and most thoughts about why Mystique would suddenly want her back had faded. Even the others were acting more like themselves and less like her bodyguards. Though, she had to admit, she missed the days when Kitty had stopped using her music as an alarm. The respite had only lasted a month, just long enough for Kitty to stop worrying about her mental stability.

It seemed as if Mystique's latest scheme had failed and she'd move on. Things were finally back to normal, or at least as normal as things could get in a house full of mutants. Which admittedly probably wasn't very normal.

"But, like, have you seen him?"

Rogue rolled her eyes at her roommate. Her current obsession of the week was apparently a new transfer student in her math class. Apparently he was...

"So like...adorable. You know?"

"Uh huh."

"Are you even paying attention, Rogue?"

"Uh huh."

A pillow suddenly hit her head, accompanied by an irritated shout of, "Rogue!"

* * *

Somethin' smelled.

It smelled like cigarettes and beer. It was a familiar scent on an unfamiliar body. Logan narrowed his eyes and took a step closer to the window. Charles was discussing something about a recent prank war outbreak with Storm. Jean and Kurt worked on homework on the sofa, but it didn't take enhanced senses or telepathy to know Kurt was mostly just listening to Chuck and Storm.

Just as he was about to check the perimeter and track down the smell, it suddenly got stronger just as he heard the front door open. Seconds later Scott was in the doorway with the source of the smell right behind him.

"You have a visitor, Professor," Scott announced, looking somewhat confused. He stepped inside and gestured to Charles all the same. "That's Professor Xavier."

Logan took a moment to look the newcomer over. He was the large burly type. Reddish-brown hair, blue-gray eyes, and scruff along the jaw. There was something he didn't like about the guy already. Something in the expression.

"Professor Charles Xavier?" the man asked. He didn't make a move to enter the room. In fact he looked suspicious of everyone.

"Yes, I am Charles Xavier," Charles replied, moving forward. "May I ask who you are?"

It almost seemed like the guy didn't want to answer, but finally did so grudgingly. "Bruce. You can call me Bruce."

"It's nice to meet you, Bruce. What can I help you with?"

"I'm here for Anna Marie."

A sinking feeling hit Logan in the gut.

"Anna Marie?" Scott asked.

Bruce spared Scott only the barest glance, as if he was barely worth the effort of acknowledging. "You call her something else."

Charles' eyes narrowed, but it was so subtle Logan doubted anyone but him and Storm noticed. "I believe you mean Rogue..."

There was a hushed whisper between Scott and Jean, and Kurt's surprise was clearly written on his face. Logan tensed further and balled his hand into a fist. He took a moment to sniff the air, but didn't catch Mystique's scent.

"I saw her on the news awhile back," the man continued without commenting on the name any further. There was a callousness in his voice that Logan didn't like the sound of. "Tracked her here."

"Why are you looking for her?" Storm asked.

The room was silent, everyone waiting for an answer.

"I'm her father."


	5. Chapter 5

Disclaimer: The X-Men still aren't mine, unfortunately.

A/N: Well, here it is. _Italics_ are memories or thoughts, as usual. Thank you to everyone for reading, reviewing, and adding to alerts/favorites. I really appreciate it! The next chapter will be up soon. Warning for child abuse.

* * *

"I really don't want to listen to you go on and on about Wilbur," Rogue said as she and Kitty stepped out of their room. It was nearly lunchtime, and Rogue had hoped to use a trip to the kitchen as a way to escape Kitty's new student obsession.

"Walter!" Kitty exclaimed. "His name is Walter!"

"Whatever."

"You could at least pretend to listen, Rogue."

"I've listened to you talk about him all morning! I'm tired of..." Rogue trailed off as a familiar presence filled her head. It was warm and gentle, a subtle prodding to let her know her thoughts could now be heard.

' _We have a visitor. Could you please join us downstairs, Rogue_?'

Rogue stopped and mentally replied. _'Be right there, Professor_.' She turned to Kitty and waved down the stairs. "Looks like the professor wants to see me."

"What for?" Kitty asked.

She started heading down the stairs, Kitty right next to her. "He said we have a visitor."

"So what does he want you there for?"

"How should I know?"

When she reached the parlor, Rogue realized that the door was open and also that Kitty was still right behind her. "Where do ya think you're goin'?"

"I just want to see who it is," Kitty said, nudging Rogue along.

Rogue rolled her eyes, swiped a strand of hair out of her face, and stepped through the open door. "Professor..." She stopped just inside upon seeing everyone gathered. It wasn't a pleasant atmosphere. Everyone was tense and quiet and Logan was practically scowling.

"Hey, am I like the only one who didn't get called down?" Kitty said with a touch of anger in her voice.

Rogue barely heard her though. As soon as her eyes fell on the visitor her heart nearly stopped, her breath caught in her throat, and she felt her eyes widen. She was frozen, unable to move, as memories flooded back...

 _The room was dark and stale even though sunshine was just outside the window. A large man with shaggy hair loomed over her. The snarl on his face terrified her._

 _So much hate._

 _Why did he hate her so much?_

 _"Stupid brat." His words were slurred. "You killed her. Can't do anything right."_

 _"Daddy?" She pressed her back against the wall, but reached out for him as he started to turn away. She just wanted him to love her, like she loved him._

 _She regretted speaking a second later, when a half-empty beer bottle was thrown at her head. She ducked her head and squeezed her legs up close to her chest. Another bottle followed. And another. Glass bottles exploded around her. Shards of the darkened glass cut her arms and the back of her neck, but she didn't move. Moving was dangerous. Getting attention was dangerous._

The memory faded, but others followed. Vague memories that became clearer as she stared at the man she hadn't seen in years. Memories of cigarettes burning her arms. Of large hands slapping her face and shoving her into walls. Memories filled with hate and anger and pain.

The voice of a much smaller, and much more helpless Rogue rang through her head and made her eyes water….

' _Don't touch me_!'

And then the moment she never forgot. The one that changed everything. It rushed back with more clarity than it had in years.

 _"Daddy?" she asked through a yawn as the truck door was slung open. Her father swayed slightly as he glared at her from the driver's side door. The smell of alcohol tickled her nose, and the sound of loud laughter came from the bar they were parked outside of. He'd left her in the truck for what had felt like hours. Now they could go home._

 _But she didn't get go home._

 _He grabbed her arm with a bruising grip and dragged her across the seat. She was on the ground a second later, her arm hitting so hard that tears sprang to her eyes. She scrambled to her feet and ran back to the truck as he climbed in._

 _Her daddy slammed the door in her face._

 _The truck rumbled to a start like it was growling at her. She ran around to the back of the truck and tried to climb up, but it was too high for her. She ran around to the other side of the truck and reached up for the handle, but couldn't reach it either. Inside she thought she heard her daddy laughing. As he started to drive off, panic washed over her. She ran after it, ran after her daddy, but he didn't slow down. He didn't stop._

 _She was alone._

 _As the truck disappeared she ran back to the bar, hoping he'd realize she hadn't caught up and would come back for her. It was dark and cold and noisy. People passed her. Most barely gave her a second look, if they looked at all._

 _Eventually she wondered over to the smelly building. Someone would help her. They'd help her go home._

 _"Hey, no kids in here! Go back to your parents!" someone yelled and then a door was closed in her face for the second time that night._

 _Tears started falling down her face, but she furiously wiped them away. Daddy didn't like it when she cried. Crying was for babies._

 _The lights in the bar soon went out. People walked by. People too drunk or distracted to notice a scared little girl in the shadows. So she waited for her daddy to come back for her._

 _He never did._

* * *

It was him.

He was back, Rogue realized. She recognized the face…the eyes….even the smell. Why would he come here though? He'd never wanted her. He hated her. Why would he...

Mystique. She had to have something to do with it.

"Rogue, this is your father," the Professor stated, as if he didn't expect her to remember.

She remembered though. She remembered all too well.

Her father took a couple of steps closer. "I'm here to take you home, Anna Marie."

It was all she could do not to run. Even backing up into a corner seemed like a good idea at the moment. Anything to put more distance between them. He was _too close_.

Around her everyone watched, as if unsure what to think or do. She couldn't get the words out to tell them though. They didn't know what he had put her through or the nightmares she still had because of him. If they knew they wouldn't let him be here, right? If they knew they wouldn't just stand there. She tried to tell herself that they would help if they knew, but a little voice in her head reminded her of that night so long ago. When no one saw a scared little girl all alone, when the ones who did just didn't care and kept walking without a second glance.

If those people couldn't help a small terrified child, then why would anyone help her now?

But she wouldn't go anywhere with _him_ anymore than she would go with Mystique.

And Mystique...this was her doing. It had to be.

"How much?" she asks angrily. "How much is Mystique paying you for this?"

Her fists clenched tighter at the thought. Her palms hurt from the pressure of her nails. If it weren't for the gloves, she probably would have broken the skin by now. She'd gotten too relaxed, she absently realized. She should have known Mystique wouldn't give up so easily.

His eyes narrowed and the corner of his lips turned upwards into a little scowl. It was an expression that had haunted her dreams for as long as she could remember.

 _'He can't touch me'_ , Rogue reminded myself. The chant echoed in her head over and over. _'He can't touch me. I'm untouchable_.'

 _He can't hurt me_.

"Who?" he asked. He's tone wasn't nice, but it wasn't exactly mean either. He was obviously trying pretty hard to stay calm.

"What. Did. She. Pay. You." She repeated slowly, each word filled with enough venom to cover the utter fear raging inside her.

The Professor moved forward in an attempt to intervene. "Rogue, you probably don't remember..."

"I remember," she spit out, her eyes never leaving the man who had crushed her dreams so early on. And suddenly it didn't matter who else was in the room. All the pent up anger washed over her. Fear was gone. Only anger remained. Anger at Mystique, at her father, and at the world that kept trying to break her. The words flowed out without any thought, fueled by an anger and pain that she'd kept locked away. "I remember how you used to throw beer bottles at me. I remember what cigarettes feel like as they burn my skin."

Around her someone gasped, Logan was ready to kill someone, and Kurt looked like he was about to be sick, but was too shocked to actually be sick. Rogue didn't notice any of them though. She was completely lost to the anger and unaware of their reactions.

She continued, unable to stop. "I remember you yelling at me and shoving me in closets to get rid of me. I remember _you_." She was only vaguely aware that she was shaking. "And I remember how you abandoned me outside that bar. You _left_ me."

"I was drunk that night," he said. He didn't sound apologetic, more like he was just stating fact.

As if it was a good reason. As if he wasn't _always_ drunk.

"You..." She couldn't get any more out. The emotions raging inside were just too strong. She felt as though she might actually break. It was all she could do to keep the tears from falling as her heart pounded against her ribcage. The voices in her head raged as well, banging on an invisible barrier as if urging her to let them out so they could exact revenge for her.

It was too much. Just too much.

"You weren't exactly an angel, ya know," her father suddenly said, his eyes narrowing at her with an all too familiar hatred. Apparently he was done holding things in too. "You killed your own mother!"

Rogue actually winced at that. The words stung like nothing else she'd ever heard. "I didn't..."

"She's dead because of you!"

He started to advance, and even though he stopped before reaching her, she still can't help the instinctive step back she took.

"You and that ridiculous hair," he continued, glancing at her two-toned hair for a moment with so much loathing it made everything inside her go cold. "You want to know how much that Darkholm lady paid me? Not enough. She had to up the price because it just wouldn't be worth it to see your face again otherwise. And you want to know something?"

He sneered, and Rogue felt all the energy suddenly drain right out of her.

"It still isn't enough. It's not worth having to see _you_ again. Why she wants you so badly I don't know. Why she even bothered adopting you in the first place I don't know. She'll just have to come get you herself though because I'm done. You're not worth it."

He started walking towards her again, and for a brief moment she was sure he was going to hit her, but she reminded herself once again that he couldn't touch her. He wasn't wearing gloves. As he passed by, he shoved her out of the way of the door, his hand colliding with her clothed arm.

She was pretty sure there would be a bruise.

It wouldn't be the first.

She thought she heard a growl suspiciously like Logan's from behind her, but she was too numb to really pay attention. All the anger fueled energy was gone, leaving only pain in its wake. Her lungs constricted until her chest felt like Sabretooth was trying to crush her. Her head throbbed painfully and for a moment it felt like she was actually going to be sick.

It was the feeling of something wet slipping from the corner of her eye that suddenly broke her out of the shock. The front door slammed and she felt a hand on her arm. For a brief, panic driven second, she feared _he_ was back and ripped her arm away, only to look over and find Kurt's worried eyes staring back at her.

She couldn't handle it.

He had just heard things she'd never wanted him or the others to ever find out about. A room full of the closest things to friends or family she'd ever really had, and they'd all just discovered one of her darkest secrets. She felt raw, open, and vulnerable in a way she hadn't since the psyches had taken control of her. If she wasn't careful, they would all witness her breakdown.

"Sorry," she managed to mumble before spinning around and leaving as quickly as her feet would carry her.

"Rogue!"

She wasn't even sure who called her. Whoever it was, she ignored it and ran up the stairs. She just needed to be alone.


	6. Chapter 6

Disclaimer: Nope, not mine.

A/N: This is a bit of a filler chapter, but I felt it was a needed one.

* * *

Logan was seething.

It was a raw, fiery anger. The kind of anger that made people stay far away from him. He couldn't get the image of Rogue out of his head. She'd looked absolutely terrified when she'd spotted her father. He wasn't sure how Charles hadn't seen it and put a stop to the whole thing immediately. He wasn't sure why Charles had held him back when Rogue started listing all the things she remembered about the man either. His claws had unsheathed, he'd been ready to jump to her defense and get rid of the person who had caused her that kind of pain.

But Charles had held him back.

'... _threw beer bottles at me_!'

Rogue's voice rang in his head all over again. She'd been furious, and with good reason. But he knew Rogue, he understood her, and he knew what she had felt inside wasn't just anger. She'd been lost, confused, and scared. And Charles had stopped him from acting.

"... _burn my skin_!'

He tried to shake the echo because it only made him more furious. And not just at the idiot who claimed to be Rogue's father. "What was that, Charles!" he growled lowly after Rogue practically ran from the room.

"I assure you, Logan, that was not what I had expected to happen."

"I could have thrown him out! Why did you stop me?"

"Because we both know you would not have stopped at simply throwing him out." There was a coldness to Chuck's voice, and a warning look to match.

"He vould deserve it," Kurt spoke up.

Logan couldn't remember ever hearing the kid so...menacing.

"That may be," Charles replied. "But it would not have helped matters."

"Rogue was _shaking_ , Professor," Scott pointed out. He paused for a moment, a look of angry contemplation on his face, before starting to turn and leave. "I'm going to go check on her."

The Professor sighed. "I think perhaps we should allow Rogue some time alone first, Scott."

Scott reluctantly turned back around, as did Kurt who had nearly ported to his sister.

Logan stared at the man who, up until now, he might have called a friend. "You can't tell me you didn't know, Charles. You've been in Rogue's head how many times?"

Surprisingly enough, it was Jean who backed him up. "He has a point, Professor. Why did you make Rogue face him like that? Without warning her first at least."

"Why would you even let him near Rogue at all? Should've just kicked him out as soon as he got here," Logan added.

"I assure you all," Charles began sincerely. "That I was unaware of their...relationship. Rogue has always been a very private person. During our sessions, she has always shown a great deal of reluctance in allowing me to see anything before her mutation manifested. I respected her wishes."

"You still should've let me at him," Logan growled and turned away to look out the window.

Rogue was hurt. Maybe not physically this time, but in every other way. And Logan knew from experience that those other ways were just as destructive. Sometimes more so. And to think of someone, least of all her own father, doing those kinds of things to her...

He clenched his fist and his claws came unsheathed again.

"I regret the way this meeting went," Charles began. "Not knowing the details...I had believed that Rogue meeting her father might bring her closure. Just as you had wanted to know the identity of your biological parents, Kurt. I had hoped that he might help Rogue. Once you assured me that he was not Mystique shape-shifting..."

"Don't blame this on me, Chuck," Logan grunted. "I said he didn't smell like Mystique. I didn't say he couldn't be working with her."

"As was apparently the case," Charles commented, choosing to ignore Logan's defensiveness.

"How could someone do that to their own daughter," Kitty spoke up for the first time since the situation had started to unravel.

Logan looked her over and realized she was almost on the verge of tears. It was probably only the outrage that kept her from actually crying. Kitty, Jean, and Kurt...they'd all grown up with a family who loved and cared for them. Dysfunctional maybe, but a family all the same. People who cared about them regardless of blood relation or mutation. Even Scott had at least known his parents loved him, and finding his long-lost brother had helped heal those wounds a little more.

Rogue had never had that.

She had a father who hated her, a mother who was apparently dead, an adopted mother who wanted to use her, and Irene who had lied to her. Logan doubted the kid ever really experienced the love of a family. He supposed, in that case, he could almost understand Charles' intent. He'd been hoping for a happy family reunion that would help heal the wounds that Mystique had created.

None of them had known just how deep those wounds had gone though, or that it wasn't just Mystique who had created them. He'd had suspicions, but nothing ever confirmed.

"Mystique's going to have to be dealt with," he stated.

"Indeed," the professor replied thoughtfully. "It does appear that she has not given up as we had believed."

Logan scoffed. "I'm going to do a perimeter check. Make sure that guy actually left and that Mystique's not hiding out somewhere." It was something that needed to be done, but Logan also just wanted to get away from everyone.

"Yes. Thank you, Logan."

He only grunted a response as he headed for the door. As he left, however, he heard Kitty's soft and worried voice.

"Is...Rogue going to be okay, Professor?"

He didn't stick around to hear the answer. He was pretty sure he already knew.

* * *

Rogue found her way to the bathroom after getting away from the others. She closed the door behind her and locked it before her legs finally gave out on her. She practically collapsed, maintaining just enough control to slide down the counter and sit with her back propped up against it. She sat there staring at the opposite wall before bringing her legs up to her chest and wrapping her arms around them.

She'd faced Sabretooth, the Juggernaut, Mystique, Magneto, and even Apocalypse. She'd been betrayed time and again, lied to, and insulted. Nothing had prepared her for a confrontation with someone she'd been sure she would never see again though.

Seeing him shouldn't have affected her so much, she knew that. She had locked herself in a bathroom and knew how pathetic she had to look at the moment. She couldn't stop her hands from shaking though, or stop the flashbacks that kept assaulting her.

She was stronger this.

So why couldn't she just move on? She'd bottled up her anger and resentment towards Mystique, and had then pushed her over the edge of a cliff. She'd bottled up her anger and resentment towards her father...

And could barely keep herself from crying.

It didn't make sense, and she hated it. She hated what he had done to her, and what he was doing now. She hated _him_.

 _But he's your father. You shouldn't hate him._

The voice in her head sounded oddly like Kurt, and a part of her felt the sting of the mental voice as if it really had been Kurt standing in front of her saying it.

 _'He left me outside a bar_!' she argued back in her head.

 _'You killed his wife_.'

 _'No, I didn't!_ '

 _'How do you know_?'

She stopped short at that. How _did_ she know? Her mother had died giving her life. That's all she could remember her father ever telling her about her mother. She didn't even know the woman's name. She couldn't remember ever even seeing a picture.

Maybe it had been her fault. Maybe she'd been toxic even back then, before her mutation even developed. It wasn't a new thought really. She'd been down this road a hundred times. Wondering, and never really knowing.

What if it really was her fault?

Maybe her father had good reasons to hate her so much.

Maybe she deserved all this.

And maybe...

Maybe her friends actually did want her to leave. She wasn't the nicest person, or the friendliest, and had pushed them all away. It was for her own survival, to protect herself the only way she knew how, but why would any of them understand that? She was just cold, distant Rogue to them. Getting rid of her was one less worry and one less mouth to feed.

And now they had another reason to be disgusted. If they believed she really had killed her mother...

No, they wouldn't believe that.

But then again, why wouldn't they? She'd pushed Mystique off a cliff. Her own adopted mother, and Kurt's biological mother. Kurt had been angry with her, and even though he'd seemed to get over it, she wouldn't be surprised if there was a little resentment still left. It probably wouldn't be hard for him to believe she could do such a thing as kill her own mother.

She wouldn't blame them if they wanted her gone now more than ever. She was nothing but trouble.

 _'You're not worth it._ '

She closed her eyes as her father's voice filled her head. He'd said it with so much hate. So much sincerity. Maybe he just knew her better than anyone else, had seen who she really was, and knew she wasn't worth having around.

She'd killed her mother.

Maybe she just didn't deserve a family.

* * *

After giving her some space for a while, Kitty hadn't been able to take it any longer. Neither had Kurt really. They'd found Rogue in a bathroom, but she had just told them to go away. An hour later she'd finally come out, only to disappear again.

Storm had assured them Rogue hadn't run off. She'd simply left the mansion and was outside. Apparently Logan had been keeping track of her. It hadn't really made Kitty feel any better, but she knew a subtle hint to leave Rogue alone awhile longer when she heard it.

No one, other than Logan probably, had seen Rogue the rest of the day. Not even when dinner came around, which also worried Kitty because she knew for a fact Rogue hadn't had breakfast or lunch. No one had mentioned it at the table though. No one had even really talked at all.

It wasn't until they'd started picking up their dishes that Scott had asked one of the many questions on all of their minds.

"Professor..." he began thoughtfully. "What do you think he meant when he said Rogue killed her mother?"

All eyes had turned to the Professor. Except for Logan and Storm's. Logan had barely paid attention at all, like he wasn't even in the room, and Storm simply continued taking dishes to the kitchen.

"I highly doubt Rogue was at fault," the Professor answered. "She would have been far too young to purposefully cause her mother's, or anyone's, death. My theory, and until we know all the facts I cannot call it more than that, is that Rogue's mother died during childbirth. I have seen family's torn apart by such a situation. The remaining parent blames the child, who they see as responsible."

"But that's like totally not fair!" Kitty had exclaimed.

"No, it is not," the Professor agreed. "But emotional pain can cause irreparable damage to a person."

Logan had scoffed, showing the first real sign that he'd even been paying attention, and the rest of them had fallen back into silence as they cleaned up.

When Kitty had returned to their room, Rogue had been there. What was even more surprising though was that she was already in bed. Rogue never went to bed so early. She'd gotten no response from her friend even though she doubted Rogue was actually asleep though.

It had been several hours after all that, and now she couldn't sleep either.

Kitty laid on her side, facing Rogue's bed, and just watched. She couldn't be sure if Rogue was asleep now or not. Once in a while the other girl would twitch or jolt as if waking up from a nightmare, but she would only pull the blanket closer to her and then go still again.

She wanted to help her friend, but had no idea how to do that. Rogue wasn't the touchy-feely kind, and most definitely didn't do hugs. She was more the 'I'll stab you in the eye if you even think about it' type.

But maybe that was part of the problem in the first place. Maybe she hadn't gotten enough hugs and affection in her life. Kitty had never had that problem. Her parents had always been more than willing to hug her when she wanted or needed it, and sometimes when she didn't. She'd never really given much thought to what growing up had been like for Rogue when she'd been with Destiny.

Now that she thought about it, the woman didn't sound like the touchy-feely type either, judging by the way Rogue talked about her. On the rare occasion Rogue even did talk about her.

Her thoughts were interrupted when she heard shuffling in the hallway. She sat up and looked over in time to see a shadow moving underneath the door, like someone was standing just outside. Unable to stop her curiosity, Kitty quietly got out of bed and made her way as silently as she could to the door. If Rogue had finally gotten back to sleep again, she didn't want to wake her up with a lot of noise. So instead of opening the door and risking it creaking, Kitty simply popped her head through it completely.

"Kurt?" She asked before remembering Rogue. Her eyes went wide and she pulled her head back into the room to check on her roommate. If Rogue had heard through the door, she hadn't reacted though. With a relieved sigh Kitty phased all the way through the door so she was standing in the hallway with Kurt. Even though he was in his night clothes, Kurt looked as if he hadn't been sleeping either.

"What are you doing here?" Kitty asked, keeping her voice low just in case.

"Did I wake you?" he asked instead of answering her question.

"No. I can't sleep," she admitted.

"Neither can I." He shifted uneasily before speaking again. "Is Rogue asleep?"

Kitty shrugged and crossed her arms. "I think so. Maybe. I'm not really sure."

"Oh."

"Yeah."

"Could you..." he hesitated, as if unsure what to really do or say. Kitty knew how he felt. "Could you put these on her nightstand?" He held up a bag of M&Ms, no doubt from the stash of candy he kept hidden and thought no one knew about.

"Why?"

"She didn't have dinner. So I thought she might be hungry."

"Kurt, I don't think Rogue's going to want to eat M&Ms in the middle of the night."

"Why not?"

"It's three in the morning, Kurt."

"Oh." He paused and held the bag out to her again. "Could you put them on the nightstand anyway? For in the morning."

"For breakfast?" she asked incredulously. It was a slightly horrifying thought really.

The heartbroken look that crossed Kurt's face as he slowly lowered his hand made her regret the objection though. Kurt was worried. _Really_ worried. He just wanted to do something, anything probably, to help Rogue. Even deliver M&Ms to her room in the middle of the night in case she was hungry.

She sighed and held out her hand. "Ok. Fine."

Kurt smiled and plopped the bag of candy in her hand. "Thanks, Kitty."

"Were you going to just...like...leave them under the door or something?" she asked. The silence and slightly embarrassed smile was all the confirmation she need. "She wouldn't have been happy if she'd stepped on them in the morning."

Kurt shrugged. He probably hadn't really put much thought into the gesture other than that Rogue hadn't eaten and might get hungry. It was sweet in a way.

"Thanks again, Kitty."

"Sure thing, Kurt. See you in the morning," she added before phasing back through the door.

She tip-toed over to Rogue's bed and carefully placed the bag of candy on the nightstand next to her gloves. She paused a second, not even breathing, hoping to find some sign of whether or not Rogue was asleep. She couldn't tell though. Not wanting to be creepy by watching her friend sleep, Kitty quietly moved back to her own bed and crawled in.

Eventually she dozed off, still laying on her side facing Rogue.


	7. Chapter 7

Disclaimer: If I owned the X-Men, I'd let you know.

A/N: Both Rogue and Logan POVs in this chapter. There really isn't too much of this story left, but once it's finished I'll start posting the sequel, which will delve into Rogue's mental state some more as well as...other things. But it's not quite time for that yet.

* * *

Rogue waited until Kitty finally left their shared room before she pushed back the covers of her bed and slung her legs over the edge. She buried her face in her hands and rubbed her tired eyes. She'd barely slept any, and was pretty sure Kitty hadn't either. She had pretended to be asleep when Kitty had tried to wake her up. After a half-hearted attempt her roommate had given up and left.

She felt bad that the other girl had felt the need to stay up half the night watching her. Kitty had probably been afraid she would suddenly have a meltdown and her powers would go nuts again. Maybe she should have slept somewhere else so her friend wouldn't have had to be so cautious.

With a tired sigh Rogue reached for her gloves, only then noticing the bag of M&Ms on the nightstand. She had no idea where they'd come from, but the sight of them made her stomach growl as if trying to reminder her that she hadn't eaten the day before.

The day before...

The thought of it brought an all-too-familiar mix of anger and sadness. As if seeing her father again after so many years wasn't bad enough, her friends had seen everything. They _knew_ now. They knew just how damaged and messed up she really was. It made her a little sick to her stomach. They'd probably never be able to look at her the same way again, and she was more than a little nervous to see them in person and see the looks in their eyes. Would it be disgust? Avoidance? Pity?

She didn't want to find out.

She stood up, her eyebrows furrowing as anger swept through her all over again. With a fury fueled movement she knocked the bag of candy away and watched as it hit the wall before falling off the nightstand, disappearing from sight. She wasn't even sure _why_ the M&Ms deserved her wrath.

She grabbed a shower, got dressed, and headed back to her and Kitty's room to brush her hair. She hadn't seen a single person between the room and bathroom, and she was perfectly okay with that. Eventually she decided that she couldn't just stay in her room all day though. It would be the first place people looked, if they looked for her at all. Besides, she didn't want them to think she wasn't handling the situation well. She needed to just act normal while trying to avoid them at the same time, which really wasn't that out of character for her anyway.

She gave her glove another self-conscious tug before opening the bedroom door, but she stopped abruptly upon seeing who was there waiting for her. She'd expected there to be questions soon, but she hadn't expected who it would be asking them. She'd envisioned the Professor, maybe even Scott or Storm, but instead she came face-to-face with Logan.

He stood just outside the room, leaning back against the wall with his arms crossed leisurely as if willing and ready to wait all day if need be. When she stopped and looked at him, he arched an eyebrow.

"Forget somethin', Stripes?"

She automatically opened and closed her hands to check that her gloves were on. "Like what?"

"Danger Room this morning."

"Oh." She felt herself relax slightly. "Yeah. I forgot. Sorry."

Logan made a non-committal sound before pushing off the wall. "You can make up for it by giving me a hand with the sensors."

"What's wrong with them?" she asked, following after him when he started making his way down the hallway.

"Nothin' that I know of. Just wanted to double check. Don't want any more unwanted guests stopping by."

Rogue immediately cast her eyes downward and nodded without replying aloud.

"Catch," Logan suddenly said as they neared the stairs.

He tossed something over his shoulder, and she instinctively caught it. She frowned lightly at the apple that was suddenly in her hands. "What's this for?"

"To eat."

What was it with people trying to get her to eat all the time? She wasn't about to actually ask Logan that though. "Thanks," she muttered instead.

As they descended the stairs she heard talking coming from the kitchen and even laughter coming from one of the adjoining rooms. It sounded so normal. As if the world hadn't exploded before her eyes just twenty-four hours before. How could things just continue on like this?

As they entered the foyer she sped up a little and wished Logan would too. The last thing she wanted was for one of the others to come out and see her. Logan was one thing. She felt comfortable with him, and he didn't push her. Even if she felt a little awkward, she knew it was safe to be around him. He wouldn't judge her too quickly.

As her luck would have it, someone exited the kitchen before she could reach the front door. It was Jean, she realized. She kept her eyes on the door and refused to look in the redhead's direction.

"Good morning, Rogue," the older girl greeted.

"What's so good about it," Rogue muttered under her breath. It was too quiet for Jean to hear, she knew, so she didn't expect a reply.

Logan arched an eyebrow at her though as she stepped through the door and joined him outside. She stared back at him for a moment before he shook his head, almost amusedly, and led the way without comment. She wasn't entirely sure how Logan expected her to help, but at least she was out of the mansion and had a good excuse to stay away from the others. If it meant she had to be Logan's target practice for the day then so be it. It was worth it to avoid the stares and questions.

* * *

Logan closed the door behind him as he watched Rogue walk through the foyer. She headed straight up the stairs, and he wasn't surprised. She'd been even more quiet than usual while helping him check out the surveillance systems. Not even a single sarcastic quip.

He wasn't stupid enough to think she'd helped willingly just for the fun of it. She'd wanted a good excuse to avoid everyone, and he'd provided it. The kid didn't need a bunch of people gawking at her right now. She sure as hell didn't need the questions. The kids had all been distracted during the Danger Room session earlier. He'd practically heard the questions running through their heads.

Stripes needed to work things out for herself before she tried to explain it to the rest of them. Time and space was the least they could give her. She deserved that and more, and he'd make sure she got it. Eventually she'd have to come out of hiding, but for now they owed her a day or two of peace. And he'd stand between her and anyone who tried to interfere. Even Charles Xavier.

 _'Logan, would you_...'

 _'Yeah, yeah_ ,' he replied mentally. _'I'm coming, Charles._ '

He headed for the professor's office and walked in without bothering to knock. Charles knew where he was and that he was coming. "Chuck," he greeted.

Charles, as expected, was waiting. "How is Rogue today?"

"How do ya think she is?" he replied gruffly. "I wouldn't be surprised if one day that kid gets PTSD after all she's been through."

"You would no doubt be the first to notice."

Logan narrowed his eyes suspiciously. "What's that supposed to mean?"

"I simply mean that your own past experiences would give you an insight into what Rogue may be going through, Logan." Charles stippled his fingers with a look of contemplation. "That and Rogue trusts you. Which is not something that she does easily."

"Can't imagine why."

Not for the first time that day, Logan imagined an even smaller Rogue pressed into a corner with glass bottles shattering all around her. Big, round eyes staring at someone ten times her size and wondering why someone who was supposed to care for her was hurting her.

 _'I remember how you used to throw beer bottles at me.'_

It seemed like he'd hear Rogue's voice in his head for the rest of his life. Angry and scared. She'd seemed more like a kid than he'd ever heard or seen her before. Sometimes it was easy, even for him, to forget that she was still just a teenager.

She'd learned early that trust wasn't something you just handed out. That was something they both understood more than the others did.

"If you notice any odd or erratic behavior..."

"She ain't gonna lose control, Chuck," he interrupted. "She's been through that once before. She's probably more worried about it happening again than you are."

"It's Rogue I'm concerned about," Charles stated, almost defending himself. "We barely got through to her last time."

"I know, Chuck. I was there."

Charles nodded, and it seemed his thoughts were a hundred miles away. He paused before speaking again. "Did Rogue mention anything about her mother?" He held up a hand to ward off Logan's immediate reaction. "I am not placing blame, Logan. You know my theory on the matter. I am simply curious if she said anything to you about the subject, or about anything else that was said yesterday."

"She didn't say anything."

"Keep an eye on her, Logan. You are perhaps the best person to help should she need it."

He didn't bother responding to that. If Rogue needed him, he'd be there. "We done?"

"Yes. Thank you for your time, Logan."

Always so…polite.

"Uh huh." With that Logan left, intent on tracking down Mystique if nothing else.

* * *

Rogue was preoccupying herself with a random book in the Library in an attempt to distract herself from...everything. Ever since the memories had started flooding back the day before they didn't seem to want to stop. All the nightmares she'd thought had just been figments of her imagination had turned out to be real.

She'd moved in with Irene and had been happy. Not even because Irene was the best guardian, but because it was better than what she'd had before. After a while the memories she'd had of her father had started to become nightmares, and eventually that's all she believed them to be. Just bad dreams.

Now it was all too real, and suddenly she felt as exposed and raw as she'd probably felt that night when she realized her father wasn't going to come back for her.

She was abruptly pulled out of her depressing thoughts by the smell of brimstone. A familiar pair of eyes and furry blue face filled her vision in the blink of an eye. "Kurt!" she exclaimed, glaring at his unannounced visit. How was it that he always knew when she was trying to find peace and quiet in the library anyway?

He gave her an apologetic smile. "Did you get the M&Ms?"

"What?"

"The M&Ms," he clarified. "I asked Kitty to put them on the nightstand for you."

"Oh. Yeah." She felt a little bad for knocking them off the nightstand now. When Kurt grinned she felt even worse, and when he didn't leave, she decided she would. "I think I'll go see what Logan's doing."

She didn't get more than two steps before Kurt appeared in front of her again, the smell of brimstone once again tickling her nose.

"Are you hungry?"

"No," she answered blandly.

"Jean is looking for you."

Rogue nearly rolled her eyes. Why would she care if Jean was looking for her? "Good for her."

"She vants to know if you want to go with her and Scott to the movies," Kurt informed her.

The thought nearly made her nauseous. Watching Jean and Scott was disturbing enough on a good day, and she wasn't haven't a good day. Besides, if Mystique was still trying to get ahold of her, Rogue didn't want to make it any easier. She really didn't want to leave the mansion.

"I don't," she answered, and started heading for the door again.

"Do you want to..."

"Kurt," she snapped, spinning back around. "I don't want to do anything. I just want to be left alone. Okay?"

She thought Kurt might have looked hurt for a second, but it was quickly replaced by concern. He seemed to look her over, as if expecting to see some horrible sign of abuse, and it made her feel all the more self-conscious.

"Ve're worried about you, schwester. We love you."

Rogue flinched. It seemed like deja vu, taking her back to a few months ago when he'd found her in the library and said something similar. She hadn't really believed it that day, and she couldn't bring herself to believe it now. If her own father couldn't love her, why should they?

"I gotta go." She escaped before he could say anything else, but not before she caught a saddened look cross Kurt's face. Almost like he _knew_ she didn't believe him.


	8. Chapter 8

Disclaimer: Do I need to say it again? Fine. I don't own X-Men.

A/N: Ok, last chapter. It was going to be two chapters, but I decided to do it this way. Thank you all so much for sticking with the story, for all the wonderful reviews, and for adding to alerts/favorites! As I've mentioned before, the sequel to this is finished. So I'll start posting that in a day or so.

* * *

Kitty stared at the email she was trying to write to her parents. Words just weren't working. Every few minutes she found herself looking over the top of her laptop to her roommate, who was sitting on her own bed working on some last minute homework she'd put off.

With a sigh she wrapped up the email, even though it wasn't as long as she'd normally write, and sent it. As soon as she was done she looked over at Rogue again. She looked as if nothing were wrong, as if Mystique hadn't paid her father to basically kidnap her.

 _'I remember what cigarettes feel like as they burn my skin.'_

Kitty looked at her friend's arms. Could there be scars there she'd never noticed? Little shadows of something horrible that Rogue had endured? Some kind of physical proof of abuse? Something she'd never noticed...

But then again, she was beginning to think there was a lot about Rogue she'd never really noticed. Things she and the others had never quite put together.

Like the fact that her friend had been _abused_ and _abandoned._

And that had only been the beginning of a pretty messed up life.

And her nutsy adopted mother was still out there hatching who-knows-what kind of nefarious plot.

Nefarious? She was totally using that in her next paper.

"Stop staring, Pryde."

Kitty jumped slightly. Rogue had barely spoken two words to her all day. "I wasn't staring!" she automatically defended. Rogue looked up from her textbook with a 'seriously?' expression that made her shift uneasily. "Ok, maybe I was staring a little. Maybe if you wouldn't try boring me with silence I wouldn't have to stare. Out of boredom."

Rogue stared back at her blankly. "That doesn't make sense, Kitty. You have a laptop in front of you. Use it."

She made a show of closing the laptop and setting it aside. "I'm done."

"Then go to bed."

"I'm not tired." It was a bit of a lie actually. She'd barely slept the night before, and Logan's training session that morning hadn't been easy.

If Rogue heard her, she didn't react. Her attention was back on the textbook, but Kitty was pretty sure she'd already finished.

"So," Kitty began, searching quickly for the words to finish the sentence. "Your name's actually Anna Marie?"

"My name is Rogue," she answered without looking up from the book. Kitty was sure she hadn't turned the page in at least ten minutes.

"But before you were Rogue, you were Anna Marie."

There was silence for minute, and Kitty started to think Rogue wasn't going to answer. "Yeah, I guess."

"So..." Kitty drew out the word again. There had to be an easier way to get words out of Rogue. "Mystique named you Rogue?"

Rogue sighed and closed the textbook with a loud ' _snap_ '. "By the time I moved in with Irene everyone was calling me Rogue. I think Irene saw it in a vision or something."

Kitty watched as she got out of bed to put up her books. She bit her lip, and wondered if it was actually a good idea to broach the next topic with the already annoyed teen. As Rogue pulled down the blankets of her bed, Kitty couldn't take it anymore though. "The Professor said your mother died in..." Kitty hesitated when Rogue suddenly tensed, her still gloved hands freezing on the pillow she was fluffing. "Childbirth," she finished softly.

Silence followed, and Kitty realized she may have just hit a very large, very sore nerve.

"Is...is that what happened?" she asked quietly, almost afraid to ask.

"I guess," Rogue muttered before climbing into bed. She pulled her gloves off and tossed them onto the nightstand before turning over and pulling the covers up over her shoulder, effectively hiding her face.

Kitty suddenly really, really wished someone else was around. Kurt maybe, or Jean. Anyone who might actually know what to say. Because someone had to say _something_. Unfortunately, she was the only one around. "Rogue..." She uncrossed her legs and moved to the edge of the bed. Her roommate ignored her. "Rogue? I know you're not asleep already. Rogue?"

Rogue made a sound of annoyance and sat up, her eyes already fixed in a pretty intimidating glare. "What, Kitty? What do you want from me?" she snapped angrily.

"I just...um..." Kitty shook her head.

Then it dawned on her just what Rogue had said. She probably didn't even realize the way it sounded. 'What do you want from me'? Because that's what Rogue was used to, wasn't it? People she trusted wanting something from her or just simply hating her for no real reason. When all of Bayville found out they were mutants, and they were being picked on, Rogue never once seemed shocked. Angry, but not shocked. She'd just accepted it. Like she was...used to it. It was no wonder she had issues believing that the X-Men, her friends, didn't want something from her in return for somewhere to sleep and food to eat.

Her eyes gravitated to Rogue's arms again, and it didn't matter if there were scars or not, because for the foreseeable future Kitty would imagine them there. Or on her back. Or on some inch of skin that Rogue always had to keep covered.

And just like that, Kitty couldn't take the thought anymore. She couldn't take the thought that Rogue didn't _know_ that people cared about her. She was out of bed while Rogue was still glaring, and before her roommate could react Kitty was across the room and slinging her arms around her friend's shoulders in an awkward hug.

Rogue instantly stiffened, and Kitty could easily imagine her eyes widening as she sat frozen in place. "I'm sorry, Rogue," she said, shutting her eyes tight even though her face was turned away to keep from actually touching any of Rogue's skin. "I just want you to be happy."

Only a second or two passed before Rogue pushed her away. "Go to bed, Kitty," she muttered without looking anywhere near Kitty. She turned away and laid down on her side, once again pulling the blankets up close to her face.

"It wasn't your fault," Kitty said, trying to be comforting and convincing at the same time.

Rogue didn't respond. She didn't even move.

Kitty watched a moment longer, just in case, but eventually headed back to bed herself. She flipped the lights off on the way and crawled into bed. By the time her head hit the pillow she was already half-asleep thanks to the lack of sleep the night before. "Goodnight, Rogue," she said sleepily with a yawn.

She was already asleep by the time Rogue replied with a whispered, "Goodnight."

* * *

 _"Everything you touch dies."_

 _"This is why I didn't keep you around, you little brat."_

 _"Are you going to kill your little X-Men friends too, Rogue?"_

 _The voices were coming from every direction. All around her. She couldn't escape. Her father. Mystique. Irene. Mystique as Risty. They were all there taunting her._

 _She ran through the darkness, but they caught up. Then suddenly she was in the mansion, and they were gone._

 _She was safe._

 _Rogue sighed in relief, only to realize she wasn't alone. Someone was watching her. She didn't know who. "Logan? Kurt?"_

 _"I'm afraid you have become too much of a risk, Rogue."_

 _She spun around to find the Professor. "What?"_

 _"I cannot allow you to stay. The risk of you harming one of the other students is too great. I'm sorry." He started to turn away even as she shook her head. "You'll have to leave."_

 _"No! Professor, wait! I won't hurt anyone!"_

 _Logan walked passed her, but barely looked her way. "Little late for that, don't ya think?"_

 _"I didn't hurt anyone."_

 _"Vhat about your mother?"_

 _"Kurt?" She turned, and sure enough Kurt stood in front of her. Just out of reach._

 _"Or your father," Jean suddenly added as she appeared next to Kurt. "Do you really think he just hated you for no reason? Come on, Rogue. Think about it. You must have deserved it."_

 _"No," she stated firmly. Her voice still shook more than she liked._

 _Evan appeared, but he was different. There were no spikes to be seen. But she hadn't seen him in..._

 _"You didn't even have your powers yet and he still hated you," he suddenly said, interrupting her thoughts._

 _The professor spoke again, his back still turned towards her. "As you can see, Rogue, it has been unanimously decided. You will have to leave."_

 _In the blink of an eye she was outside the mansion, looking through a window. Scott, Jean, Kitty, Kurt, Logan...they were all inside. Laughing and talking and having a good time. Even Logan looked more at ease without her around. Their lives went on without her as if she'd never even been there, and by the looks of things, as if they were better off without her._

 _She placed a hand on the window. She wanted to be with them, to join in, and to be part of their family. But that was never going to happen. Not now. Maybe she never had been in the first place._

 _She spotted the glove covering her hand and ripped her hand off the window. The black material taunted her, reminded her of who she really was. With a surge of anger she tore the glove off and watched as it melted away._

 _With a gasp she looked at her bare hand. The skin was...cracked. As she stared, the crakes grew longer...wider...as they snaked their way up her arm. Smoke billowed from the cracks as if the tissue underneath was actually fire or lava._

 _The crakes spread longer and longer until she felt them going up her neck, covering her face, down her back..._

 _"Poison," a voice whispered. "Toxic. Dangerous."_

 _"No. No!" She opened her mouth to scream..._

Rogue jolted awake and pushed herself up on her arms. She looked around and realized she was still in her room at the Institute. It was still dark, she also realized as her heart raced. It had just been a nightmare. Her throat felt dry, and she was pretty sure if she hadn't woken up, then she would have woken the entire house with a scream.

She got out of bed, intent on getting a glass of water or at least on finding something to give her a reason to avoid sleeping. She took only one step in the darkened room, however, before her foot hooked on something and made her trip. A quick look over at the other bed told her that Kitty was still asleep. Other than a slight shift, Kitty gave no sign of waking.

Rogue reached over and grabbed whatever it was that her foot had gotten tangled in. It was the strap of her own backpack, she realized. She tossed it aside in aggravation, but instead of standing up she scooted back until her back hit the side of her bed.

She just didn't care.

With a sigh she brought her knees up to her chest and rubbed her face as flashes of the nightmare filled her head. Why couldn't life be easier than this? Why couldn't she just catch a break? Every time she started to get comfortable somewhere, something had to happen.

 _'It wasn't your fault_ ,' Kitty's voice said in her head.

Rouge slammed her head back against the mattress, thankful it wasn't harder so the impact wouldn't wake her roommate.

 _'I just want you to be happy_.'

The words, combined with Kurt's from earlier, actually hurt. They hurt somewhere so deep down she wasn't even sure _where_. In reply, a surge of anger rushed through her. An anger at everything and everyone. The kind of anger she knew well.

She wanted to scream, and yell, and punch something. Kicking the nightstand suddenly seemed like a good idea. So what if Kitty woke up to a lamp crashing to the floor? Maybe it would convince her to stay far away. Her leg started to move before she really thought about it, but she stopped abruptly just before her foot connected with the nightstand.

There, laying in-between the nightstand and her bed, was the bag of M&Ms Kurt had given her. It was just barely visible in the single narrow ray of moonlight coming from the window. The simmering anger faded, leaving her almost numb as she stared at the candy. She reached for the little pouch and clutched it in her hand.

Kurt had given her candy. No doubt his own candy from his secret stash. He called her family, and said they all loved her. It was ridiculous, but somehow the stupid little bag of M&Ms suddenly made her feel...wanted. A little bag of chocolate coated hope. Kurt, Kitty, Logan...all of them really...they'd made efforts to check on her. As if they really actually cared for her as much as she cared about them.

 _'They won't kick me out_ ,' she told herself, clutching the candy tighter. Tears welled up in her eyes, but she shut them before any could leak out. _'And if they do, I can take care of myself_.'

No.

They wouldn't do that.

She repeated the mantra over and over. She repeated it until she was mentally clinging to the words. The tears that finally fell down her cheeks went unnoticed.

Eventually she picked herself up off the floor, placed the M&Ms back on the nightstand, and got into bed. There was no smile on her face as she fell back asleep, no hint of peace even, but she slept soundly the rest of the night. And by the time Kitty dragged her down to breakfast the next morning, she almost felt ready to face the day.

Almost.

It was a start at least. And when Storm waved them off to school with a warm smile, Rogue felt sure that no matter what Mystique had planned, she could deal with it. _They_ could deal with it. She was still new to the 'family' thing, but she was willing to try figuring it out if they were willing to keep her around.


End file.
